


Memories + Choices+ Decisions

by EWM



Series: Comfortember (myfirstone!!) [17]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016) Whump, Bad Parent James MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e23 MacGyver + MacGyver, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jack Dalton is Angus MacGyver's Parent (MacGyver TV 2016), James MacGyver's A + parenting, Poor Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Whump, season 2 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27624551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EWM/pseuds/EWM
Summary: More for comfortember, a little more depressing than I really meant it to be. A series of flashbacks that I imagine happening to Mac through out the 2x23 episode.Huge thanks to flowing_river because their brilliant story That Was Why... (which you should totally go read) about Jonah Walsh was a massive inspiration for this story too :)Ooh and written with the day 17 prompt - FLASHBACKS in mind. Feedback appreciated
Relationships: Angus MacGyver & James MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), James MacGyver & Jonah Walsh (MacGyver TV 2016), James MacGyver/Angus MacGyver's Mother (MacGyver TV 2016), Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Wilt Bozer & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Comfortember (myfirstone!!) [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996306
Comments: 12
Kudos: 18
Collections: Comfortember 2020





	Memories + Choices+ Decisions

_“Well you’ve found him.”_

He turned around Mac saw his father for the first time in 15 years. And suddenly he is not in a house about to step on a bomb, he is 10 looking up at his grandfather. Harry is telling him gently as he can, that his father is gone, and he isn’t coming back. Mac is staring at Harry, desperately hoping it isn’t true. Mac’s blue eyes are filled with tears and he desperately hugs his grandfather, Harry bends down and holds the little boy crying and sobbing in his arms, quietly cursing his own son for his foolishness and his cowardice. With a blink of those same blue eyes, Mac is back staring at his father for the first time in 15 years

_“Dad?”_

**

_“You don’t think your partnership was unique do you?”_

Mac can hear his father’s voice, but his mind is gone far away. He is back in the sandbox with Jack. Jack fires a volley of rounds taking out bad guys, Jack is yelling at him for being stupid, Jack is teaching him poker by firelight. Jack is there comforting him when he wakes up in a cold sweat as he goes over the latest bomb in his dreams, Jack is there hugging him on Christmas Day pushing an extra beer into his hand. Jack is always there…by his side in the blood and the dust

_“You might have arranged the meeting, but our friendship was galvanised through hardship. We did that on our own.”_

Mac smiles, Jack is always there, no matter what his father says.

**

_“You probably don’t remember me, you were just kid when we met.”_

Walsh’s threat is lost to Mac, he does remember this huge burly man idly threatening his life. The memory is faint, but it is there. Mac is in the living room playing with a train set and suddenly he is there, a vast man with brown eyes and a mass of dark hair. Mac looks up at him and he seems endless. He is nice to Mac, he sits with Mac on the floor and grins as he gleefully shows him off the train set his grandfather gave him for his birthday. The burly man tells him how clever he is and produces a wrapped presented from his pocket, it is small, but neatly done. Mac rips the present apart. It is a new section to add to his train set, he gleefully hugs this large man and then suddenly remembers his manners, he asks the man’s name. The man amused responds, _“you can call me Jonah”._ Mac dutifully responds “ _Thank you Mr Jonah”_ and hugs him again, Jonah laughs all the while trying to spot Jimmy in the house and suddenly he sees him on the edge of his vision, sitting alone in the kitchen sipping vodka or whisky. Mac remembers the strange look in Jonah’s eyes when he sees his father in the kitchen. He looks up at him and says

_“Dad got real sad today and then he was mad at me.”_

**

_“It was me! It was me I was protecting you from!”_

Mac stares at his father as the flames surround him, he sees his father yelling at him for no reason, he sees his father crying in a corner alone and scared. He sees his father smash a photo frame with all of them it. He remembers going up to his father to offer him his teddy bear and his father staring at him and he remembers his father screaming at him

_“You were this brilliant kid. You reminded me so much of her…Every time I looked at you I saw her and I would get angry all over again.”_

_“Oh so it was my fault then??? You know because I lost her too. She was my mom and I was a little kid! And I needed my father and you weren’t there!”_

Mac sees his mother smiling at him, cuddling him, singing him happy birthday, Mac sees his mother in the garden planting things, Mac is buried in mud and earth running around as he sees her laughing sitting on the grass. Mac sees his mother in her study, carefully painting his Halloween costume, he runs in and she puts the buzz light year helmet on his head.

Then he is back again in the room filled with fire, his father’s confused face looking back at him and then Jack is there crashing through the wall grinning at them ready to escape.

**

Mac and Jack laugh and talk as they walk along the corridor, Mac feels lighter, lost in his memories of Jack as they talk, he is the only family he needs

“ _I’d find a way to bring you to the dark side and together we would rule the galaxy”_

Mac laughs as his stomach twists at what he is about to do. Suddenly he is the war room, he steps forward and there his father is.

_“You’re quitting?”_

_“Effective immediately.”_

Mac turns and walks, his eyes glance over his friends, but then he walks ahead, not looking back. Jack will never forgive him for this, he registers the look of rage as he passes him, memories of Jack and Riley overwhelm him as he walks, dancing and chatting, drinking beer and playing ski-ball, running into the fire now with Bozer at his side too. He pushes his memories of Jack, the Phoenix, all of them down deep, he must forget them. This life is finished, they have to be finished too. His friends disappear from his field of vision, he keeps walking step by step, he opens the door and then shuts it. No one follows him, his life in this place, it is done.

**Author's Note:**

> So did I get it right? I'm no fan of James MacGyver (just wow in terms of bad parenting), but in this I did seek to show him more as a man grieving rather than a total monster, not necessarily justifiable, but at least human. Did I manage it?


End file.
